It's the start of a new month. I sit here at Gary's computer and I have thought of life in general over the past week because of something which happened to us. A neighbor of ours who shall we say has a certain dislike for our family reminded us of the life "ordinary folk" continue to live. When Gary died that way of thinking was lost and left far behind. We had to adopt to what we refer to our " New Life " a life without our precious Gary living here in our house. Our eyes were re-opened by this neighbor to the harsh and cold reality of life a reminder to us that Gary's passing for them was just a headline in a newspaper, a conversation piece for a while something you'll get over. The game some neighbors play with each other was acceptable when Gary lived amongst us, we were happy to oblige whoever crossed our paths and who tried to interfere in our lives. We played the trivial game which can take place and did for a long time.
When Gary died life took on a whole new meaning and it would take a person far more articulate person than I to explain to any member of the "ordinary folk" what that means. But if you have come to know grief because of the death of a child you know exactly what I mean. For 99.99% of those who live around us life has not changed at all, that is shown by the lack of feeling, the lack of any friendliness or in any way trying to understanding the pain and the suffering that comes with the loss of a child. Yes we were very upset and it caused great pain to know that a person who have known us so long and knew Gary all his life could even now be the way they are but I guess really how could they possible know what its all about. I was never tempted to enter "the game" after these words were spoken by our neighbor, Gary's memory is more precious than that and besides it would wipe out all we have learned over the past two years.
Finally I shall finish my April piece. Last year I was desperate to make sure everything I could remember of Gary was written down or the photos were put up safely or all Gary ever owned was kept safe, I was afraid his memory would fade but I know that shall never happen. Every place we go Gary follows. So Gary we thank you for all you have given us and we shall always remember you but we miss you so much.
Take care and thank you for looking at our site. Regards from Brendan, Christine and Family