It's now once again time to write a new thought for the month of June. Tomorrow the third of June Lisa is seven years old. I can still plainly hear Gary getting Lisa to repeat after him " I'll be two in June ", she was only gone fourteen months, and how proud he was to hear her repeat those words. Two years have passed since Gary died and we still visit Gary's resting place a number of times each week. We still long for Gary so much it wont change for a long time, indeed if ever. How can you " let go " of the precious son we knew for for fourteen years and three months. And yet we know for life to continue the way it should we must indeed let go. I have thought long and hard about that and I am still trying to figure it.
At night I look about Gary's room before going to bed. The posters on the wall needing the odd new piece of cello- tape to insure they don't fall down, one day I say to myself I shall have to remove them and decorate the room. Gary would be sixteen now a big boy what would he be doing now I ask myself and somehow I feel I know the answer. Yesterday the school holidays started and that reminded me of Gary's school journal and how it showed his countdown to the exam's before the school broke for the summer holidays and how it stopped counting on the 21-5-1999, I look at Gary's certificate for the Tae-Kwon-Do and the expiry date of Feb 2000, I remember thinking how many months to go before reaching that date. Ah if only, if only those ifs and buts continue to haunt me. But one consolation I know we have come a long way on life's journey in two years but how I would trade it all to have Gary walk in shout " hi Dad I 'm back ".
To Gary we send our love and to tell him me still miss him and still remember each day the love he shared with us and the fun we had. From Mom , Dad , Stephen and Lisa.