May 2000 This page is the hardest of all to write, so much so that I cannot as yet think of a title for it. To describe how Gary's passing changed our whole world as we knew it is very difficult. As we have said to many people who knew us " if we were to spend a whole day trying to tell what life without Gary is like you still would not know". That terrible heartache and longing to see our precious Gary is eats us up and so difficult to bear at times but its Gary's love he had for us as his family that helps us to live on and remember and honour him each day.
Friday 21st May 1999 was like any other Friday for us. Gary and Stephen went to school. I went to work and Mom with Lisa's help did her work as usual. Later that day I picked up Gary and we went and played two games of snooker. We enjoyed those games so much and for some reason Stephen did not come with us that day. Later we came home and we had our tea together. Afterwards the boys kicked ball on the street until it was time to go to Tae-Kwon-Do.
Gary had a good night at Tae-Kwon-Do. Gary and Stephen came home and after a quick bite to eat out they went for a quick kick about. They came in and Gary sat down and ate his favourite chocolate cake. He watched "Brookside" (a t.v soap based in Liverpool) and off he went to bed. His mom always tucked him into bed and at least twenty times a day he told her how much he loved her. He always wrote for a while each night before lights out, his pen in one hand and his watch in the other. For those that knew Gary rules were a big part of his life and if you said lights out in thirty minutes he turned them out exactly thirty minutes later.
We have been asked so many times what did happen to Gary. How can I say what happened I can't at this time. We felt it's not a topic for conversation but a private moment for us his family and closest friends. He did not take his own life which many people who have browsed through our site have thought because of problems he had with bullying. My heart goes out to any parent who must live each day if such did happen to their precious son or daughter. For those who knew Gary he loved life with a passion never eating something out of date by a day or even entering a room that had been freshly painted. He enjoyed the daily simple things in life and never asked for anything. Gary loved his family first and foremost and loved his room his computer, football, all the sport he could have, his Match magazine and the routine on Thursday with chips from his favourite chipper the "Roma Cafe" in Wexford town (Ireland).
I thank all those who have browsed our site and please think of Gary from time to time. Life is a precious gift which can be taken away so easily. I don't like to give advice for I can only see life through my eyes but parents never think you can't hug and kiss your children for no matter how old they become they still are your precious family and its what life is about. The love Gary showed us is something which shall help us live in this world without him. As each day goes by we gain in strength the belief that he lives on in each of our lives and is helping us to cope. Gary has become our guide and we are richer for that. It goes without saying we wish things were as when he lived amongst us but as I said that was beyond our control and if as some books suggest " he had reached a state of perfection " to which God demands then Gary was certainly ready . Good luck Gary from Mom, Dad, Stephen and Lisa. We miss you and love you dearly.
May 2001It has taken me quite a while to write a page or a thought for May this year. Perhaps its a sign of life taking on some " normality " or of coming to terms with the passing of Gary and the other things in life now take up my time more. I know it shall never be the way it was when Gary lived amongst us and how could it. To loose a son as Gary, left a world so unknown to me and so awful that we often look back and wonder how we have managed to survive and how we continued living. If I was told two years ago any of this should come about I know that I would have felt insulted and I would have felt the memory of Gary betrayed. But the most normal thing in life is to continue to live and do all the things it takes to do that. Stephen and Lisa are a great reminder of Gary and each have a part I see Gary had. I shall always be grateful for their help in coming to terms with Gary's passing.
Tonight as I kicked football with Lisa I paused for a moment from time to time and remembered how often Gary kicked ball there. Those same boards the ball bounced off hang their, the same trees still grow, the same faces pass by and indeed the same odd cranky neighbor who objected to the children playing on the street. If only they knew the meaning of life that has been shown to us perhaps some things would be so much different but I know it was us who had our precious son Gary and for that we would not swap the world and our life now.
Gary shall have passed two years in a couple of days and I look back on how quickly time has passed. How true that which is sometimes said " how short life is and how important it is to live your life and enjoy what has been given to us".
We miss you Gary and remember you always, Love from Mom , Dad , Stephen and Lisa.