To My Angel Gary From Mom
Its quite a while since I was able to write any more memories of you Gary because I've been busy trying to cope without your physical presence every day, but here goes"
As the seasons begin to head toward Spring again my heart breaks for what should be. You would rush home from school every day so that you and your brother Stephen could get out to play football in the street. Homework (or as you called it work ) and study took second place for you because you and Stephen were clever enough to know that a bit of fun after school was more important than being tied to books, you did enough of that all through the winter months. You had your priorities in order. You'd always change into your tracksuit and runners quickly followed by a big slice or two of bread and you'd go happily. You would commentate the whole way through the match because this was practice for you as you wanted to be a commentator when you grew up and the travel the world speaking German, French, Spanish and whatever else you could master. Some people found this constant chatter annoying and would tell you to shut up but you would tell them " its a free country, I can commentate if I wish", good for you Gary, your entitled to your dreams. Anyway you always were active with Stephen and friends, Gary you wouldn't believe that some of these boys no longer want to play with Stephen and give him support (how sad)!
I find it difficult at times to even cook the tea because now there's a stretch in the evening it reminds me of these lovely memories and my head and heart ache to see you again.
Each night you and I would talk over our days and if you'd had a bad one I would try to offer comfort, support and love. You told me every day of your life how much you loved me (sometimes 20 to 30 times a day). You showed your brother and sister unconditional love and they in turn loved you so much. Gary we're all sad you are not here in person but in your new home in Heaven, alive and well, safe from bullies (or as you called them "No Marks") ,and the nasty people. Now you receive unconditional love, the honour and respect you deserve. Life was not always kind or fair to you because you were outstandingly different and others were not clever enough to understand you, but we, your family did, we knew your special, sensitive ways and we made things good and easy for you when we could.
I feel I had to protect you a lot and that shouldn't have been, you were entitled to freedom to go where and when you choose but we were always worried for your safety, even though you had become very good at Tae-Kwon-Do you would never had used it as you never liked to hurt anyone. You used to say to me "I don't hate these bullies, I know they just don't understand me ",and I'd feel very proud of you and know you were one in a million. But you adored your home and your family, it felt so good to have you as my son, I was amazed God had given me three beautiful and wonderful kids. You loved little Lisa (4yrs) so much, you were so excited and happy the day she was born, you had prayed you would get a sister as you had a brother and unselfishly you wanted me to have a daughter, sometimes you'd say to me over the years " you love your little girl don't you mom "and I would say " Yes Gary but I love my big boys too".
Little did you know that there is no difference in my love for you Stephen and Lisa as you are all my children and I'm as close to you now more than ever before. Love travels between earth and heaven and can never die. I know the gorgeous Gary we knew so well lives on in the next dimension and is waiting for us all in good time. Gary, we will always know you're around us and helping us, I could not have got through this first sad year without your help, you told me once you would never leave me and I know that this is true, because you have guided me well, thank you, I will love you always and think of you every day until I am with you again forever.
Take care love from your faithful Mom Click for Photo of us in Mosney September 1999