June 2000The month of June was the start of the school holidays. We visited many places around us. Our favourite place to visit was Courtown a seaside resort close to us. We had  many walks through the forest collecting leaves and berries, along the beach watching the waves thunder in and crash onto the beach. We always got sweets in one of the local shops. These happy  family times  we shared  left us so many precious memories.

 As Gary got older he started to figure out ways of earning some extra pocket money while on holidays but never quite made his fortune. He worked for a time in a solicitor's office, helping with the mail and sorting through the files. He cycled about town delivering the letters and this was a start for him to see the advantages of work and with it the chance to have responsibilities that paid money. He had long since got  an information book on different ways to make money. Coming up to the summer of '99 Gary  searched  for a job when he got his holidays. He marched so determined the whole length of our town but at the time he was fourteen and had little prospect of getting summer work until  he was sixteen. We remember with fondness that day he searched. Gary did not get the chance to work but no doubt he has more worthwhile work to attend to up there with the best and we wish him well in his career and may he complete the agenda he worked so hard at while he lived amongst us.

June 2001It's now time to write a new thought for the month of June. Tomorrow the third of June Lisa is seven years old. I can still plainly hear Gary getting Lisa to repeat after him " I'll be two in June ", she was only gone fourteen months, and how proud he was to hear her repeat those words. Two years have passed since Gary died and we still visit Gary's resting place a number of times each week. We still long for Gary so much it wont  change for a long time, indeed if ever. How can you " let go " of the precious son we knew for for fourteen years and three months. And yet we know for life to continue the way it should  we must indeed let go. I have thought long and hard about that and I am still trying to figure it.

 At night I look about Gary's room before going to bed. The posters on the wall needing the odd new piece of cello- tape to insure they don't fall down, one day I say to myself I shall have to remove them and decorate the room. Gary would be sixteen now a big boy what would he be doing now I ask myself and somehow I feel I know the answer. Yesterday the school holidays started and that reminded me of Gary's school journal and how it showed his  countdown to the exam's before the school broke for the summer holidays and how it stopped counting on the 21-5-1999, I look at Gary's certificate for the Tae-Kwon-Do and the expiry date of Feb 2000, I remember thinking how many months to go before reaching that date. Ah if only, if only those ifs and buts continue to haunt me. But one consolation I know we have come a long way on life's journey in two years but how I would trade it all to have Gary walk in shout " hi Dad I 'm back ".

To Gary we send our love and to tell him me still miss him and still remember each day the love he shared with us and the fun we had. From Mom , Dad , Stephen and Lisa.